SAINT PETER AND THE VEILED, MENDACIOUS MISCREANTS
Thursday, December 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pm ©
As in a vision, it all came to me last evening as I was slipping into that slumberous, somnolent state preceding sleep. I saw most clearly that it is now early on the morning of December 28, 2031, and Saint Peter is at his traditional post at the Pearly Gates, gently plucking the strings of his lovely, melodious harp. It is a “slow day” for The Lord’s most powerful servant, for other than for the pure joy he feels at the making of his heavenly music, there is little need for him to now sit at the first of the twelve gates made of pearl standing at the entrance to the City of God, made of Gold and every type of precious gem. [Revelations, 21:21] Peter knew, most certainly, that if anyone were to glance at the Book of Life on the small cloud at his side, he or she would see quite clearly that the Twenty-Eighth of December is a special day that the Lord has set aside for the most “dastardly” of homo sapiens of the mortal world to be processed. This means, of course, that all of the “traffic” in souls this day is supposed to be in the company of the Roman poet Virgil, that most worthy Saint and great friend of Dante Alighieri, and that all souls are over the course of this sad, fateful day intended to descend into the multiple depths of the Inferno, or Hades. Through the Gates of Hell and into the “inferno”, without a chance to go further, that is, to his or her eternal damnation.
Then, however, in a flash of lightening, there instantly appear before Saint Peter four persons who might at first glance appear to be the most unlikely supplicants for ever-lasting Grace that the revered, renowned but increasingly cranky old Saint has ever seen present themselves at one time. Even to the most insignificantly cognitive mortals (and certainly to the wise, sagacious Saint Peter), this is an especially unusual group of Petitioners, made to appear even more irredeemable since they have each, not in concert with any other, adopted by way of masquerade and disguise the precise ethereal likeness of the beatific, beneficent, helper and healer of mortals, the great Archangel Michael. Peter places his right hand to his chin, leans over and, in a most thoughtful yet bemused fashion, ponders to himself,
“Each of these fools must himself believe that I be the Earthly equivalent of a “loon”, and that I will believe that he is Michael coming home for a rehabilitating sojourn to restore his powers.
The Archangel Michael’s name, of course, is not in the Book of Life since he is a “permanent resident” of the City of Gold; and if one of these four were Michael, he would simply have transported himself into the Golden City with no approval, or name-checking, required. The four Earthly loons, obviously, did not recognize this most simple of facts.
“Protocol” would normally have required that the venerable Saint Peter check the names of true supplicants against the names in the Book of Life. Any attempt at pretense was doomed to fail, but there had been no other reason required to check the book, inasmuch as Saint Peter knew that at this very moment, The Archangel was in Caracas, Venezuela, helping the Leader of that nascent democracy to personally come to terms with the fact that he would not be granted the opportunity to bring true peace to his beloved land.
Each of the supplicants started by asserting that he was, in fact, the great Archangel Michael. Each of the men in question was quite elderly and each was affecting, or presenting, the loving and care-giving manner of God’s most beloved servants. After a few moments of looking about themselves, however, each seeing the garb of the other, it ocurred to each of them to cast aside any attire or facial make-up that had been designed to conceal their true identities. These persons, all men of oft-used guile and deceit, were Rev. Jim Bakker of Michigan and South Carolina; Rep. John Stoerner of Ohio; Rush Limbaugh of Missouri; and former Vice President Richard B. Cheney of Wyoming. Peter determined that he should, for the sake of at least the appearance of fairness and propriety, conduct a brief formal inquiry, viz:
Peter asked each of the supplicants,
“Are all of you familiar with the Commandments of the One True God rendered unto Moses upon Mount Sinai?”
Each of the supplicants responded in unison, Yes”. And Peter knew that they told the truth.
“Did any of you worship any Gods before the One True God of Abraham?”
Again in unison, they each said, “No.”
“Are each of you familiar with the pronouncements of the Lord in the triune presence of Jesus from the Mount of Olives as to the manner in which all should live their lives? And have you lived your lives in accord with such prounouncements?”
Once more each of the supplicants answered, “Yes, Lord; and we have.”
At that point, and in clarification, the one known on Earth as Jim Bakker, in great humility and earnestness, asked leave to speak further. Peter gave him permission, and Bakker replied further that he had been legally and morally responsible for defrauding many “Believers” and had caused untold pain to so many; but he went on to say that he never had an ill motive in his heart; he said he was stupid, and he suffered from such an insecure ego that it caused him to spend to excess and even to engage in sins of the flesh…all to the lamest of goals, to make himself feel of importance and as a consequence commit the vile sin of pride. He added that after a while he was in such a deep fiscal hole it became impossible to do the “right thing” and make everyone whole. He was just never able to set things straight. But, he said, his love of the Lord never wavered.
Saint Peter nodded, knowing that the supplicant was, in fact, one of the Lord’s most curious gifts to the Earth, i.e., in that he was so articulate and seemingly wise, while he had not, in fact, been given even the intelligence of a baboon. But Peter knew, too, that Rev. Bakker’s heart was, within that shroud of ignorance, totally pure; he had a wonderful, giving heart and had, in fact, brought many souls to Heaven, or Paradiso;
Peter proceeded through the remainder of the inquiries regarding the Ten Commandments and concerning the Sermon on the Mount, with the ability to know instantly the truth or falsity of each response, and the only question that was thereafter asked and which to any believer might give some pause were the simultaneous responses of Messrs. Stoerner, Limbaugh and Cheney, who each asked, with varied phrasing,
“I did, my Dear Saint Peter, follow all of the Commandments you have recited. But in the spirit of ‘full disclosure,’ I must tell you that I have never believed in the existence or sanctity of what you refer to as the ‘One True God’ or of any ‘God.’ I followed these commandments because I felt with all of my being that as a human being it was best, and it best served Mankind as a whole to follow them. I have gone through life on Earth as a knowing being seeking ends which I believed, and still believe, were in the best interests of all–despite the fact that in doing so I made myself most unpopular to many of my fellow citizens of my Country. But aside from those duties, I believe I did have a good heart and helped many over the course of my life on Earth.”
Saint Peter was not taken aback, for he knew that one of these three men, though considered vile and beyond redemption by much of Mankind, although not without “sin” in the human sense (sin which many would call “venial” and not “mortal”) and even though irreligious according to the many religious teachings of Man, had, in fact, lived his life in full compliance with the laws of the “One True God.” And Saint Peter knew at the end of these inquiries that this man, John Stoerner, along with Jim Bakker, had actually done great work for the Lord as well, as he had also helped many, had evidenced great love for his fellow man, and had, without acknowleging the Lord, been one of his better “soldiers” who were certainly entitled to God’s Grace and Redemption. Stoerner, a politician engaging in a difficult endeavor, had always told the truth as he saw it, and even though he feigned rancor, and sometimes felt it, he was at all times in such capacity doing what he felt was ultimately in the “greater good” of the great assembly in which he served and of the People which it represented.
For Peter knew, as few Men upon the Earth properly recognized, that while Mankind as a species was inherently “evil” and that most men needed to seek and subscribe to a “higher power” for the stability and the assurances they needed psychologically to function in an uncertain world, he or she need not achieve that state through belief in the God of Abraham…or, for that matter, in any God at all. Peter knew, as well as did the God that made all Men and all of Creation, that each Man and each Woman has the wherewithal within himself or herself, planted as a seed by God himself, the ability to grow, blossom, and become a “whole” being, nurturing the love of others and through their actions become what God wishes of all of Mankind.
But Saint Peter had a different fate in mind for Messrs. Limbaugh and Cheney. He knew from their hearts, which were no more than small lumps of coal, that they had truly lived all of their lives engaging as “evil counselors” and as intentional “sowers of dissension” without any goal other than their own pride; and, also, they were hypocrites and thieves of the minds and the powers of thought, such as they might be, of those amongst the polpulations least able to see through the knowing prevarication and obfuscation by which these two made their professional lives and reputations.
Peter knew these two men, initially coming before him as the great Archanchel were actually no more than agents of Satan and their entrance into Paradise would be a gross travesty, precisely the sort of miscarriage that the Lord had charged him with preventing.
And then the Twelve Gates of Heaven opened, and all four old men slowly walked toward the City of God and away from the mortal pain, death and mass turmoil that lay below and behind them. But, while Jim Bakker and John Stoerner continued on, with each step growing younger and filled with more and more happiness…finally rid of what was past and so painful…separated from their own hurt at what they had done to themselves and to others…and passed directly on to Paradise, both Rush Limbaugh and Richard B. Cheney suddenly found themselves falling through the Gates of Hades to a place deep within the bowels of the Inferno–or Infierno–from which nothing and no one ever escapes.
Don Switzer
Rogers, Arkansas
WWW.PoliticsandWhimsey.Com
(c) December 17, 2009
Tags: Abraham, Archangel Michael, Book of Life, Caracas, City of God, City of Gold, cloud, Dante, Dante Alighieri, Fable, Gates of Hell, Gates of Paradiso, God, Golden City, Grace, Hades, Harp, Hell, homo sapiens, Inferno, JESUS, Jim Bakker, John Stoerner, Lord, Mankind, Michigan, Missouri, Moses, Mount of Olives, Ohio, Paradiso, Pearly Gates, Redemption, Revelations, Richard B. Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Saint Peter, Saudi Arabia, SOUTH CAROLINA, St. Peter, Ten Commandments, The One True God, Triune, Twelve Pearly Gates, Venezuela, Virgil, Wyoming
